I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize