Dual....:-)
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
