just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
