Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
