i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
