Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
