do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
