A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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