And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Bring me that man meat
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize