I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
