i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
