I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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