Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
