Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
