i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
