I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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