well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
