I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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