Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
