someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
