i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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