I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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