I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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