dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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