My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
