Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
