shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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