I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
