yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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