I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
