They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
