We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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