Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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