a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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