No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
