Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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