So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
