Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
