True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
