You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So many bounce houses so little time
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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