Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
