Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
