Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
