u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
