He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
