I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
