I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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