I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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