i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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