How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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