Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
