I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
