I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
