So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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