Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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