Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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