is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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