and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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