you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
