I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
