Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
